All is not well in the kingdom of Rhyngill. Despite regular payment of tithes, including PAYE (Pay As You Eat), the citizens are all tired and underfed. Firkin, a lad who is definitely alpha plus in the get-up-and-go department, blames the king, and sets out to find an assassin who will rid the kingdom of its ruler. But little does he know that the real villain is someone else entirely - or that the origins of his friends' troubles involve lemmings, pigeons and heavy earth-moving equipment.
It takes a pieman, a magician and a knight with a North Country accent to help Firkin see the error of his ways!